I have so much swirling around in my brain tonight I don’t really know where to begin. I’ve been thinking a lot about my birthday, especially today. I usually sub for the school district but today I cleaned a home, not my home, but someone else’s home.  It gives me a mental break from subbing and a chance to think. So while I cleaned toilets, I did some contemplating. The next thing ya know and I’m moppin’ the kitchen floor in tears.

I’m not sure if I was feeling sad for not planning a party or what, but I texted some family and a couple friends to see if anyone was available but realized it’s just too late. People have plans. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I tried to put things into perspective. I’m sure there are many people around the world who don’t even know when they were born. Think of all the kids who just want clean water or for their mother not to die or for their father to stop abusing them, day after day. Maybe I need to think less of myself and more of others.

I had a professor in college who didn’t believe in celebrating birthdays. He thought Americans were silly for making such big deals. He said it was just a day you happened to be born. I learned this about him while in D.C. for a seminar on human rights. He led the trip. Somehow we discovered it was his birthday. We wanted to do something to celebrate, but he said no. He didn’t participate in such nonsense. My grandfather didn’t celebrate birthdays either.

I wonder what it would be like to sit down with Jesus, to ask him what he thought about birthday celebrations. I’d love to hear what he’d have to say. My guess is that it would be all about the heart. He wants us to love and to be loved. Celebration goes hand in hand with both. My gut tells me he’d be the first to say, where should we have it? and who can we invite? what’s your favorite food? and do you prefer red or white?

I am going to do something. I just don’t know what that looks like yet.

write-31-daysThis is Day 12 of a 31-day series on writing naked. You can find the series in its entirety HERE.

This does not involve the removal of actual clothing. So please! keep them on!

Day 13