Well, I just took three whole days off. I thought ah, that’s okay, what’s one day? Then two days passed and I thought, Well maybe I’ll just take the weekends off. Then, yesterday came and went. Suddenly it’s October 10th. I think my last post on truth took a lot out of me.
The truth is, I need rest. I’m not getting enough of it. At least it doesn’t feel that way. I get sleep but rarely feel rested. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I’m still in the midst of learning what Jesus means by that. I’ve been hanging out in the book of Matthew since the beginning of summer. I flip around and read other books too, but almost always end up back in Matthew. It’s where you’ll find a LOT of sticky notes and the Daily Prayer.
I’ve heard these verses most of my life but I’ve never had the desire to recite them until recently. For one, it just seems so religious, so formal. I’m all about being real and just talking to God, but have come to love what it says in these verses. It’s a reminder of my need for Him every, single, day.
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
That last part I like to read to remind myself to choose forgiveness. When it comes to prayer, Jesus says to go into your room and close the door and pray in secret. I don’t think that means I can’t talk about my prayer life. Today is a little about my need for prayer.
I began this write31days challenge by writing about forgiveness and then hope. Neither seem to have much to do with time. Then, I took a leap into mental health. Sometimes it’s easier to write about what’s actually on my mind, but all these things have a lot to do with the reason I have chosen to create space and time for prayer in the first place.
I’m trying to make it more of a practice in my life.
So although it’s taken me this long to get around to my number one, you probably have a better understanding why this girl needs prayer as a part of her life. Maybe it’s because I struggle a little more than others or maybe it’s because I let things like fear + anxiety get in the way.
Recently, I learned that fear causes procrastination. Procrastination leads to a lack of confidence and a lack of confidence leads back to fear. It’s a vicious cycle. The good news is… I’m aware of it. It’s ridiculous how paralyzed I’ve been by fear lately although it’s not the only reason I spend time in prayer, but tonight I’ll have to end here.
Remember, rest. I’m praying God will help me get past this. I believe He can and will.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.-Matthew 6:34