I’m barely hanging on today. It sucks to admit that. I can always tell when I’ve reached my limit when it comes to stress. The first sign is my vocab. I start to cuss. If you don’t ever feel stressed AND you never swear, please just stop reading this now.
Wow, I don’t sound very nice today. I’m sorry. I just need to vent. The internet is a horrible place to do it. I’m actually going to vent about myself rather than my circumstances. And not to sabotage myself (because I am good at that too), but to remind myself that God is with me dammit. Make sure you are reading the is with me part in there.
So here’s the thing. My calendar is stupid busy. It doesn’t even want me to write anything on it anymore so it up and left. I don’t know where it went. It’s probably hiding in my purse in between all the random pieces of papers reminding me to do this and to do that. I really need to be doing those things, but I’m going to give myself some me time.
I’ve got one foot up on my desk and a leftover glass of wine to my left. Yep, I’m drinkin’ it.
It tastes weirdly awful, but surprisingly good. Be very worried for me. I’m only kidding. Do you think I would hit the publish button if I was truly one step away from losing my ever loving mind?
Yeah maybe. So anyway, what’s the problem, you ask? Well I keep saying YES to things. Just a sec, I could use another sip. Like I said, weirdly good. Reminds me of the Peeps Easter Candy when you leave them out for a day or year or two and they taste surprisingly amazing.
Okay my problem… saying YES. Last sip. Wowza.
I’m kinda feeling a little burned out on all the things. Are you getting sick of hearing about this?
Darn I’m out of wine. I don’t need it anyway. I just need to get my shiz together, that’s all. It’s been a rough week. It started with you are out of data (big deal) and then became you are out of money (that kind of matters) and now you cannot live on Doritos alone. <–<< That was my stomach talking.
No, but seriously I am running on empty. All I felt like doing this afternoon was crying.
So that’s what I did. I pretty much fell apart until I got to thinkin’ that God is only one who can put me back together. He is with me. He will HELP me. Yes, I need some down time. Yes, I need to say no to some things. Yes, I need to depend on others. Yes, I need more white space on my calendar.
Yes, I need to purchase more wine. (I’m kidding.)
Earlier today, I messaged a friend to say I’m overwhelmed. Can you pray for me? She said she would pray for clarity and peace. I have an event that I need to plan in less than a month and it feels like a lot to do right now. I’m going to need to spend more time prayin’ and dependin’ on God for my sanity.
My family needs me to stay sane. I need me to stay sane. And to my reader friends, let’s just say it together: “Lord, keep us sane.” Whatever you have going on, God’s got ya.