Dependency. I’ve always struggled in that area. It’s the whole idea of not NEEDing help because I can do it myself. As a child, I could tie my shoes, pick out my own clothes (didn’t care if they didn’t match). I could color and cut and paste my own projects. I could even brush my own hair (although I rarely ever did). I didn’t want or need anyone else’s help. Some of it was because of my stubbornness. Mostly, I just wanted to be able to do all the things.
As a little girl, I wanted to become an astronaut. I was fascinated with space, but I learned pretty quickly it would be unlikely for me to become one. Besides, space camp was too ekspensiv. I decided my new answer to the growing up question would be “an artist.”
So far this month I’ve learned that I really can do 6 AM too. I was hoping by now I could say this girl is on fire, but it’s not so much the truth. Okay, so let’s do a recap. These are the days I’ve been successful in my little #icando6amtoo challenge: March 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 12th, 13th, 14th and 16th.
Yesterday I went to my own search box on my site and typed in “why I write.” I remember blogging about it awhile back. Up popped Why I Blog. It was dated November 1, 2015. I wanted to remind myself of the why. You can read it HERE. I gave three reasons, but I’m adding a fourth one today.
Last month, I went to New Life Center on a Sunday morning and listened to a message about faithfulness given by my son-in-law. He asked, “Are you looking for a King or for comfort?” Before the message, we sang a song called King of My Heart. The lyrics talk about God being good. I truly believe that he is good but then when it came to the next line, it gave my faith a good shake.
Well Hello. It’s been awhile. The last five months have been filled with excitement and frustration and clarity and confusion and celebration and ima-gonna-just-hafta-go-through-the-motions-what-am-i-even-doin-so-help-me-Jesus-loves-me-this-i-know. I could definitely use some BALANCE in my life, but unfortunately it’s just not in my DNA.
In May, I had a decision to make. I could tell the truth or continue to hide it. I finally did the right thing and chose to be honest. Mostly because it’s not the kind of person I want to be. Before I get into THAT, Let me back up a bit. About 4+ years ago, I started seeing a mental health professional. I don’t love admitting that but it’s the truth and sometimes the truth is messy.
Hello. I have less than five minutes to write today’s post as it is almost midnight. This is going to be short and sweet. Yay for you!
Hello Day 4. I am suddenly remembering how hard it is to do this writing challenge.