So I’m starting this 12-day writing challenge. The first prompt is the word “word” and I don’t have much of anything to say so my title is going to be just that. I’m only going to be able to write a few sentences because I am exhausted. Maybe that will be the word-exhausted.
Last Sunday, I sat in church and listened to a message about anxiety and depression. The guest pastor said please don’t tell someone they just need to trust God more. He added, it might make someone want to punch you in the face. Like I said, those comments don’t typically help, but today I want to talk about what does help!
I’ve read a lot of articles lately on how “the church” or Christians need to stop adding to the stigma of depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar disorder. I happen to agree. I also happen to believe “the church” is made up of flawed humans just like you and me. And those flawed humans (myself included) ought to be forgiven because they know not what they say and do.
I was planning to revisit my last blog post, but I’m just going to say three things about it. #1: I don’t do well under stress. #2 It’s okay to BE YOURSELF #3: God helped me with all the things! Later, I plan to write more about that, but today I want to talk about depression and anxiety.
I’m barely hanging on today. It sucks to admit that. I can always tell when I’ve reached my limit when it comes to stress. The first sign is my vocab. I start to cuss. If you don’t ever feel stressed AND you never swear, please just stop reading this now.
Dependency. I’ve always struggled in that area. It’s the whole idea of not NEEDing help because I can do it myself. As a child, I could tie my shoes, pick out my own clothes (didn’t care if they didn’t match). I could color and cut and paste my own projects. I could even brush my own hair (although I rarely ever did). I didn’t want or need anyone else’s help. Some of it was because of my stubbornness. Mostly, I just wanted to be able to do all the things.
As a little girl, I wanted to become an astronaut. I was fascinated with space, but I learned pretty quickly it would be unlikely for me to become one. Besides, space camp was too ekspensiv. I decided my new answer to the growing up question would be “an artist.”
So far this month I’ve learned that I really can do 6 AM too. I was hoping by now I could say this girl is on fire, but it’s not so much the truth. Okay, so let’s do a recap. These are the days I’ve been successful in my little #icando6amtoo challenge: March 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 12th, 13th, 14th and 16th.
Yesterday I went to my own search box on my site and typed in “why I write.” I remember blogging about it awhile back. Up popped Why I Blog. It was dated November 1, 2015. I wanted to remind myself of the why. You can read it HERE. I gave three reasons, but I’m adding a fourth one today.
Last month, I went to New Life Center on a Sunday morning and listened to a message about faithfulness given by my son-in-law. He asked, “Are you looking for a King or for comfort?” Before the message, we sang a song called King of My Heart. The lyrics talk about God being good. I truly believe that he is good but then when it came to the next line, it gave my faith a good shake.