At the end of 2019, I chose the word surrender as my focus for the coming year. Little did I know how much I would learn about letting go. I had just walked away from a job I deeply loved and entered into a season of grief.
I was about 25 when I first learned the concept of boundaries. It was after reading the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. But I didn't make it much further than awareness. I didn't know how to apply boundaries to my life. As a child, I learned other strategies to keep myself safe by hiding my feelings, trying hard to just be good and people-pleasing.
Recently, a friend texted me out of the blue, an image of the verse below. It was from John 14 and said, "I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." The timing was crazy because my bible was open to John Chapter 14 right then and there.
I once made an attempt to remind my little corner of the world what unity looked like because it seemed we had forgotten. I wrote a post called Good + Right when the political climate was heated. It wasn't a political post, it was mostly about the heart of God. And here I am finding myself writing another post, a few years later, this time about the human heart.
My blog has been like a dry dessert for a good long while, but I'm ready to start writing again. Part of it might have to do with a recent life change. I made the decision to leave my job last week which was one of the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I was a coordinator for a teen mom ministry, but my resignation had nothing to do with my teen mama friends.
I heard those words in church today. As strange as it may sound, it gave me hope. Honestly, I’m a little uncomfortable with the ways things are going for me on the daily. I admitted my discontentment and longing to a few others recently, and it wasn’t easy.
Well I got my word so I will just leave it at that. Hopefully tomorrow’s post won’t be as pathetic as this one. Good-night.
EDIT: I ended up writing for a few of those days over on Instagram @juliannewrites instead of here.