Yesterday I went to my own search box on my site and typed in “why I write.” I remember blogging about it awhile back. Up popped Why I Blog. It was dated November 1, 2015. I wanted to remind myself of the why. You can read it HERE. I gave three reasons, but I’m adding a fourth one today.
I write because I need encouragement. I don’t mean I’m waiting in the wings for someone to make a comment or to tell me I’m doing a good job with this or that. I just need to
talk type it out, especially when I’m feeling discouraged. I figure maybe YOU need some encouragement too so why not encourage the both of us?
Also, I prefer not to always be talkin’ to myself. #notcrazy
What’s crazy is how we can go from being hopeful and encouraged to feeling totally defeated, either in mommin’ or marriage or in our ventures inside or outside the home. Let’s focus on the things that HELP.
- My faith in God. He doesn’t want me (us) to feel this way.
- A good cry. So yeah, I did that yesterday too.
- Talking, typing it out. I’m already feeling better.
Last week I wrote a post about a song called King of my Heart with lyrics that made me question whether God would ever let me down. Yesterday I went to a leadership luncheon for Young Life. Tanner Krenz came to lead worship for us and that was one of the songs we sang.
I can honestly say God is answering my prayer … reminding me he will never let me down. But like I said last week, people let me down. I let others down too and that’s what discourages me. Yesterday was just one of those days. I let myself down and felt like I was letting others down too.
A big part of that is this: I’m still in recovery mode when it comes to people pleasing. I don’t want to disappoint ANYone.
I’m reading a book called “Present over Perfect” by Shauna Niequest. If you look on Amazon or Good Reads, it’s full of negative reviews (bcuz ppl can be negative) but that’s beside the point. Or is it? Anyhow, I came across a chapter On Disappointing People. She says this:
We disappoint people because we are limited. We have to accept the idea of our own limitations in order to accept the idea that we’ll disappoint people. I have this much time. I have this much energy. I have this much relational capacity.
I already mentioned I struggle with balance and routine, but maybe it’s because I prefer freedom and flexibility. Those aren’t bad character traits ya know. But I also need to learn my limitations. I do need to take a thing or two off my plate and I’m thinkin’ and praying it through.
Jesus is enough. He’s ALWAYS enough.
Wherever you’re at today, don’t get down on yourself. Do what only you can do. Ask God to help you with whatever that is.
When you say, This is what I can do; this is what I can’t, you’ll find so much freedom in that. You’ll be free to love your work, because you’re not using it as a sneaky way to be loved or approved of. You’ll be free to love the things you give to people, because you’re giving them freely, untangled from resentments and anger.
As far as disappointing others? It’s inevitable. Being a daughter of the King is ETERNAL. I don’t need love and approval by ANYone else. <–<< I realize that’s easier said than done and let me tell you, it’s a daily struggle, but you don’t need love and approval by anyone else either.
God is the one who shapes you, grows you and loves you .. so you can freely love yourself and others.