I was planning to revisit my last blog post, but I’m just going to say three things about it. #1: I don’t do well under stress. #2 It’s okay to BE YOURSELF #3: God helped me with all the things! Later, I plan to write more about that, but today I want to talk about depression and anxiety.
I’m struggling with where to begin because my heart and mind have so much to say about this, but I can’t cover it all in ONE post. So I will start the conversation with what doesn’t help.
Here’s what doesn’t help…
- Are you praying?
- No, but are you REALLY praying?
- Are you reading your bible?
- No, but are you letting your mind SOAK up the scriptures?
- Are you praying THROUGH the scriptures?
I grew up during a time when mental health was confused with spiritual health and I think many are still confused. So when a person struggles with depression within the church, those questions up there, are the natural ones our Christian friends and family were taught to ask.
Jesus is enough for me. But it doesn’t mean that my depression and/or anxiety is going to go away, even if I ask God to take it. I DO believe that God heals, but I also believe he knows the bigger picture and I trust him.
But some will say my struggle stems from not trusting him.
Please know that you don’t have to validate your very real relationship with God to others. It’s tempting to want to try to prove that things are good with me and him, regardless of my flaws and weaknesses, regardless of my desire to say the F word once in awhile (um well hello there, yes the F word, it’s okay-it really is) and regardless of my occasional struggle with depression.
Yes, I pray. Yes, I read my bible. It’s tempting to want to elaborate on just how much I spend in God’s word and how much time I spend in prayer, but do I really have to answer those questions?
God is teaching me the answer, and it’s no! I don’t need approval from others.
Sometimes I feel like shouting: “I know him. I KNOW HIM!” just like Will Ferrell does in the movie Elf. Here’s a clip just in case you need something to make you smile tonight.
I’m finally learning to accept God’s grace for me, and guess what? It reaches FAR. I am a Child of God. Amen. Hallelujah! Yes, depression visits me once in awhile and no, I don’t always understand it. That’s why it’s called unexplained sadness.
In the midst of depression, I have learned just how much I can trust Him.
I trust him for COMFORT over other things. I trust that he is building EMPATHY in me. I trust that he is going to produce something GOOD from my mess, because HE IS GOOD.
If depression makes me realize the goodness of God, then I am grateful for it!If depression makes me realize the goodness of God, then I am grateful for it! Click To Tweet