It was a beautiful spring day. The opportunity had come, the timing was more than right. It was perfect. I knew I had enough courage to follow through with it—not because of my own doing, but because of the strength given by Almighty God. It is a journey I look back on often, as a reminder of his faithfulness.
Ten years have passed since the afternoon of March 21st 2007—the day I chose to obey God. It was then, the burden was lifted. No longer would my conscience be held captive by guilt. No longer could my enemy hold it over my head. No longer would my own condemning voice add to the noise.
It was the first day of spring, a day orchestrated by none other than God. I woke up to the warmth of the sun on my face and peace in my heart. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Five months earlier, in an old journal dated October 12th, things weren’t quite as clear.
I’m trying to understand if you want me to go through with this confession. I just don’t know how I can go through with it. Am I overwhelmed by my guilt of my past? Or is this a legitimate request from you? Help me to have the courage and strength. I pray for an opportunity and the right timing. Prepare me. Prepare him. Help it bring reconciliation. Give me more time to think this through and some confirmation.
He is a patient and good God.
It wasn’t long after my parents sold our home when I discovered the briefcase. The year was 1992. At first, it was just a twenty, then a fifty. Soon, it became one hundred. Before I knew it, one hundred turned into a thousand which eventually turned into more. Some time later, I asked God to forgive me, and He did.
I can’t say enough that God’s grace is enough. Jesus is enough. There is nothing I can do to change what he did on the cross. There is nothing I must do to earn grace, but to simply admit I am a sinner. Sometimes God asks us to confess our sin to others, particularly to those we have sinned against—not to bring shame, but to free us from it.
God is in the business of breaking chains of guilt and shame, sin, fear and pain. He is all about freedom and reconciliation. Sometimes that means taking a step of faith and doing the hard thing.
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body whether by life or by death. —Philippians 1:20
My journey to obedience was a difficult one. It was a process that didn’t happen overnight, but began with a simple 7-word prayer—”Lord, give me the strength to obey.” Maybe he is asking you to do something you don’t want to do. It may or may not be in the form of a confession. Perhaps he is simply asking for you to trust in him.
Whatever it is, God will never fail you. He will never abandon you.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8